Today Daily Page asked me: You lay there in bed and toss and turn and can't fall asleep. All you can think about is...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, feeling afraid. My dream, it was more like a memory from another lifetime. A past life. I didn't recognize the faces, but I did recognize the souls. My current lover and I were dancing onstage together. We've been lovers before.
We swirled, pranced, twirled and leapt across the stage in unison. He vigorously lifted me above, with his solid capable arms and I soared. Steadily, he swept me through the air like a swan in flight. As I descended, falling into him, he held me firmly and I gasped. While the curtains swooped down in front of us, he pressed his lips into mine, urgently, as if he believed I would disappear into thin air any second.
And I slapped his face. Hard.
He was fuming. I could see the violent rage in his sparkling blue eyes. There was a time I would have cowered and shied away from that angry face. This time, instead, I stood tall and held my chin up.
"I don't belong to you anymore, Thomas."
"Stop! It's HIM. You want HIM. I won't have this!"
He was much too close. Those eyes, they were flaming. My hands began to sweat. This was so familiar. Not again.
"Please Thomas, I beg..." He seized my hand, so fiercely, so quickly. I stumbled.
"Thomas!" I wrestled free and bolted away from him. I ran swiftly backstage to where the other dancers were waiting patiently for the cast party to begin. He did not follow me.
Nervously, I chatted with the others.
"Emma, why do you look so tense? It's done! You and Thomas were brilliant as always. Come, have a drink!"
I was feeling anxious. I considered that maybe a drink would help soothe my nerves, but something in my gut warned me to keep my wits about me, so I politely refused.
And then suddenly, I was in another place. I recognized the burgundy curtains and the broken cuckoo clock on the wall. Thomas's bedroom. We were snuggled together, content in each other's arms after a steamy, passionate rumble in the sheets. I remember this. I remember this like it was just yesterday, and not 2 lifetimes ago. Why is this so familiar?
And again, this time like a flash of lightening, the scene changed. My stomach lurched. I knew what was about to happen. I felt ill and I began to tremble. My knees were weak. I remember this.
I remembered and I was petrified.
Thomas was screaming at me. His breath reeked of bourbon. He towered over me and falsely accused me of entertaining another lover. Jealous again. He had a bloodthirsty look in his eyes, I was so afraid. I was glued to the spot where I stood, and I shook like a tree in a relentless monsoon. I ceased to hear anything he shrieked at me. My heart thudded in my chest. My ears roared.
And then he hit me.
I'm not even sure I felt it. I don't remember feeling anything after that, until he gripped his tenacious hands around my throat. "Andrew" I whispered. And my world turned black.
As I bolted upright, I realized it was just a dream. No, not a dream. A memory. I am Emma. My lover, Andrew, is Thomas. I tossed and turned the rest of the night. I knew I had to end this affair. I had been granted the chance to change my fate. What kept me up the whole night through, was wondering if I had the strength to do so.
I must end this, I said aloud. My very life depends on it.
And so I did.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Misterium Iniquitatis
They were loitering around the 7-11 parking lot after having purchased a colossal amount of beer and junk food. Fred pulled out a bag of Cheetos and started munching away while Barry began loading beer into the ice cooler in the backseat of his rusty old Ford.
"Where's the ice?" Barry asked.
"I didn't grab any, I thought you were getting it."
Barry rolled his eyes and walked back into the convenient store, cursing under his breath.
A brand new black Lexus rolled up next to Fred. After it came to a stop, two very sharply dressed men emerged and sauntered towards the 7-11 entrance.
"Hey!" shouted Fred, "you left your lights on."
The taller of the two slowly turned around and pointed to the bag of chips that Fred was still holding onto, and then nodded and continued inside the store.
"What the fuck," Fred muttered.
At that moment, Barry marched out with a bag of ice and a pretty blonde at his side.
"Why are you staring at your Cheetos?"
"Nothing, who is this little cutie?"
"Hi, I'm Piper." said the petite girl who looked to be about 19 or 20. She waved shyly at Fred and he grinned at her.
"This is Fred, he's coming to the party with us." Barry told her. "C'mon let's blow this popsicle stand."
The three of them clambered into the car, Fred allowing their new friend to ride shotgun. She snatched the cd visor sleeve and began rifling through them.
"Oh!" She squealed as she yanked out a cd. "You listen to Mayhem!"
As she inserted the cd, Barry looked over at her inquisitively.
"What? Who is that? I don't know where that came from."
"Where's the ice?" Barry asked.
"I didn't grab any, I thought you were getting it."
Barry rolled his eyes and walked back into the convenient store, cursing under his breath.
A brand new black Lexus rolled up next to Fred. After it came to a stop, two very sharply dressed men emerged and sauntered towards the 7-11 entrance.
"Hey!" shouted Fred, "you left your lights on."
The taller of the two slowly turned around and pointed to the bag of chips that Fred was still holding onto, and then nodded and continued inside the store.
"What the fuck," Fred muttered.
At that moment, Barry marched out with a bag of ice and a pretty blonde at his side.
"Why are you staring at your Cheetos?"
"Nothing, who is this little cutie?"
"Hi, I'm Piper." said the petite girl who looked to be about 19 or 20. She waved shyly at Fred and he grinned at her.
"This is Fred, he's coming to the party with us." Barry told her. "C'mon let's blow this popsicle stand."
The three of them clambered into the car, Fred allowing their new friend to ride shotgun. She snatched the cd visor sleeve and began rifling through them.
"Oh!" She squealed as she yanked out a cd. "You listen to Mayhem!"
As she inserted the cd, Barry looked over at her inquisitively.
"What? Who is that? I don't know where that came from."
Piper shrugged as she banged her head to the black metal jam blasting through the speakers.
Fred lit a cigarette in the backseat and yelled over the music, "So what's the deal with this party, where we going?"
Barry leaned over and turned the volume down. "Seriously, what are we listening to?"
Fred exhales a puff of smoke. "I like it."
They rode in silence for awhile, Barry driving, Fred smoking and Piper still whipping her head up and down.
Barry slowed down in front an enormous old house. He glanced at Piper who was digging through the cds again.
"Is this it? It doesn't look like anyone is here."
"They're here, I promise."
Piper hopped out of the car and skipped towards the dark, unlit dwelling. Barry gave his friend a skeptical look as he shut off the engine and groped around unsuccessfully for a flashlight. Fred wriggled out of the backseat with a backpack full of beer he confiscated from the cooler, and slammed the door behind him.
After crawling through a large opening in the fence that surrounded the tattered mansion, they traipsed down a winding pavement, Piper leading the way. As they neared the entrance, they could make out dim red lighting and loud music coming from within. Piper didn't continue to the front door, she reached for their hands and led them around to the back of the house and to a door in back that led downstairs. She peered through the darkness behind her when she heard crunching sounds.
"What is that, what's happening?"
"Fred, are you still chomping on that same bag of Cheetos?"
"I'm hungry." he said as he shoved them into his bag.
He and Barry followed Piper down the stairs and down a dimly lit corridor. The music was much louder now. When they came to a door at the end of the hallway, Piper opened it slowly and strolled inside, the fellas at her heels. The view when they entered, was unlike any party either of them had ever attended. This room was very large and gothic in décor. The center of the room was empty and open. Around the perimeter, sporadically placed, were black leather sofas which were occupied by scantily dressed women and men sipping on cocktails. Some attendees wore nothing at all. There were several open doorways that appeared to lead into other rooms. In one corner of the room, was a stage, and on it, sat a very large bed which was abandoned at the moment. Fred gawked around in awe, while Barry looked somewhat puzzled.
"What kind of party is this?" he asked Piper.
"A house party. C'mon, there's booze here, let's go into the saloon and make some drinks."
He regarded her carefully for a moment, then warily escorted her to the saloon.
The saloon was a slightly smaller room, with a circular bar and stools surrounding it. There were 2 men wearing bowties and tight briefs, serving drinks. Piper hopped behind the bar and squinted inquisitively at her guests.
"Barry, I'm going to guess you're a gin and tonic man. Fred, put that beer away. How about some whiskey instead?"
Fred guzzled down the rest of his beer then smashed the can on the bar. Barry glanced at him disapprovingly.
Fred shrugged and pulled out his bag of cheetos. Piper finished their drinks and handed one to each of them and then excused herself to go say hello to a friend.
"I'm not too sure about this party. Don't you think it's a little weird?"
"Why? People take their clothes off at parties we been to."
"That's different, Fred. Nobody starts with their clothes off. We get faded and call pants off and everybody starts taking off some of their clothes and keeps dancing. I don't understand why they're just walking around like this. And what is with the art in this place? It's so dark. I think this place is creepy. What? Why are you making that face?"
Fred shoves a cheeto in his face. "Look, doesn't that look like a pitchfork? There's a tiny pitchfork on this chip," he chortles.
"Whatever." He peered over at Piper who gave him a little wink and then hugged her friend farewell. She smiled sweetly as she waltzed back towards them.
"Hi fellas, did ya miss me? Shall we continue our little tour?"
Fred nodded and Barry shrugged as he felt his head begin to spin a little. Was it just him, or did Piper seem to becoming more assertive with each moment?
They followed her into another room where partygoers were snorting blow. Fred nudged Barry.
"See? Now we're talkin."
The three of them joined a table of interesting looking, fully dressed characters. There were 2 women, who looked to be in their late 30's. The brunette was drop dead gorgeous, and looked like she fell right out of a magazine ad. The blonde was a little rough around the edges, but cute, with a little pug nose. They were snuggled up to an older man, with a long beard and a visible tat around his whole neck. He also had a small tat on his hand, which Fred immediately recognized as a pitch fork. Eyes wide, he signaled to Barry to check it out. Barry eyeballed the man's hand and shook his head at Fred to indicate that he should keep the cheeto incident to himself.
He and Barry followed Piper down the stairs and down a dimly lit corridor. The music was much louder now. When they came to a door at the end of the hallway, Piper opened it slowly and strolled inside, the fellas at her heels. The view when they entered, was unlike any party either of them had ever attended. This room was very large and gothic in décor. The center of the room was empty and open. Around the perimeter, sporadically placed, were black leather sofas which were occupied by scantily dressed women and men sipping on cocktails. Some attendees wore nothing at all. There were several open doorways that appeared to lead into other rooms. In one corner of the room, was a stage, and on it, sat a very large bed which was abandoned at the moment. Fred gawked around in awe, while Barry looked somewhat puzzled.
"What kind of party is this?" he asked Piper.
"A house party. C'mon, there's booze here, let's go into the saloon and make some drinks."
He regarded her carefully for a moment, then warily escorted her to the saloon.
The saloon was a slightly smaller room, with a circular bar and stools surrounding it. There were 2 men wearing bowties and tight briefs, serving drinks. Piper hopped behind the bar and squinted inquisitively at her guests.
"Barry, I'm going to guess you're a gin and tonic man. Fred, put that beer away. How about some whiskey instead?"
Fred guzzled down the rest of his beer then smashed the can on the bar. Barry glanced at him disapprovingly.
Fred shrugged and pulled out his bag of cheetos. Piper finished their drinks and handed one to each of them and then excused herself to go say hello to a friend.
"I'm not too sure about this party. Don't you think it's a little weird?"
"Why? People take their clothes off at parties we been to."
"That's different, Fred. Nobody starts with their clothes off. We get faded and call pants off and everybody starts taking off some of their clothes and keeps dancing. I don't understand why they're just walking around like this. And what is with the art in this place? It's so dark. I think this place is creepy. What? Why are you making that face?"
Fred shoves a cheeto in his face. "Look, doesn't that look like a pitchfork? There's a tiny pitchfork on this chip," he chortles.
"Whatever." He peered over at Piper who gave him a little wink and then hugged her friend farewell. She smiled sweetly as she waltzed back towards them.
"Hi fellas, did ya miss me? Shall we continue our little tour?"
Fred nodded and Barry shrugged as he felt his head begin to spin a little. Was it just him, or did Piper seem to becoming more assertive with each moment?
They followed her into another room where partygoers were snorting blow. Fred nudged Barry.
"See? Now we're talkin."
The three of them joined a table of interesting looking, fully dressed characters. There were 2 women, who looked to be in their late 30's. The brunette was drop dead gorgeous, and looked like she fell right out of a magazine ad. The blonde was a little rough around the edges, but cute, with a little pug nose. They were snuggled up to an older man, with a long beard and a visible tat around his whole neck. He also had a small tat on his hand, which Fred immediately recognized as a pitch fork. Eyes wide, he signaled to Barry to check it out. Barry eyeballed the man's hand and shook his head at Fred to indicate that he should keep the cheeto incident to himself.
To be continued...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)